Newspage four February 2012

 America seeks to shackle a British youngster - AGAIN

Not for the first time, America has angered and upset many Britons with it's beloved rendition process. This time it's Richard O'Dwyer, who's crime of the century was to set up a website that merely directs people to pirate websites. He didn't pirate things himslef, he merely directed people, like any search engine does, like Google for instance.
America also wants to imrpison for twenty years, Gary McKinnon who hacked into U.S computers to research UFOs. We condem the British Government for acting all feelble and pathetic in the face of America, but we have even more hostility towards America for even thinking of it in the first place. Honestly can't you grow up, haven't you got better things to do? Supposed to be the most powerful country in the world, and look how babyish you act.
We want this treaty torn to shreds, in front of the faces of the American officials who love it so much. We would tell them, form now on you just get serious terrorists and serial killers, the rest you can whistle for, shove it and BUTT OUT!!!

Re-advertise and see who you get
In the 70's people complained about the trade unions and the closed shop, protection and cosy-ness, driving up wages. What have we now with exectutive pay, a cosy club, a closed shop, an ideology, I vote for your wage increase, you vote for mine next week. Seeing as all these free market people are so keen to equalise everyone elses wages down to base level, the race to the bottom, why not have such a system for them? Short term contracts, re-advertise the job and see who you get? You just might be surprised at the calibre of the people you do get. You can put a kind of game into play, so that the excutives start looking over their shoulder, worrying about demanding a little too much. They can play cat and mouse with each other, and the bias in the system will lead downwards rather than upwards into orbit. With a maximum wage, no company in the country could pay orbital wages, they would have to go abroad. We aren't convinced they are that talented, we think enough talent will stay in Britain. Free market devotees will scream, let em scream. They talk about going abroad, good riddance, we will be glad for them to go, seriously. We believe in a trading licence. If a company doesn't satisfy certain conditions they don't get a British trading licence, and they cannot trade on British soil, simple as that.

Michael Portilo wins fans in Rayul Rea-zan
Michael Portilo presents a BBC2 prog, railway journeys, retracing the steps of Victiorian rail traveller, Bradshaw. The prog is hugely informative and highly entertaining, and getting more popular by the minute. Inta-Clan has numerous fashion and lifestyle cults, including some for younger people. One such is the Rayul Rea-zan, a kind of railway cadets, for children and young people. Other chuildrens organisations use disciplinary action to force members to listen to for example recordings of gardeners question time. Rayul Rea-zan say they have no plans to force people to watch the Portilo series, but they are promotting it fairly heavily. Some Rayul Rea-zan members almost hero worship Portillo, some fans refer to him as "the daddy". The Rayul ask us to stress they are NOT train spotters.

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